...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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