He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
