Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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