I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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