i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
