Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will be naked everywhere
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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