your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Randomize
