I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
