shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
