I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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