i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
