Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
