i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
