im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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