we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
where am i from again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
