I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
