Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize