I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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