I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
