I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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