did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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