you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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