There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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