what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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