help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
