Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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