I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
