You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We need a shit load of segways right now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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