Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
