so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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