i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
