Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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