Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
