Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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