i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
not ubering you a puppy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
