please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
