you guys were way drunker than both of me
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
