I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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