Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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