i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
