we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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