i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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