pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are two peas in an std pod
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
