Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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