I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
