ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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