why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
