It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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