Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize