i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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