So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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