were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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