Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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