I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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