the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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