Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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