his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wear drunk well.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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