I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
