How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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